Jeffrey Dahmer

When I connected to Jeffrey's spirit, I didn't feel like I got enough information. It was a bit like watching a bad portrayal of his life on some shitty lifetime channel. It was unsatisfying. I wanted to understand him on a soul level. I wanted to know what had "gone wrong". I took a deep dive into his life using tarot and my intuition. And what I found when I did, were the answers nobody else could. 

My initial reaction to Jeffrey's energy was confusion, hostility, and a lack of trust. In life Jeffrey was an incredibly apathetic character. He was known for being awkward and bizarre, probably never spending a day truly comfortable in his own body. I mean, so many of us can relate to that, and yet we never did the unimaginable. I wanted to know where and when this child had been broken, and how he became one of the most hated people of all time. 

Jeffrey, in death, didn't give many answers as to why he was the way he was. As in life, he claimed that's just the way he was. He didn't want to be that way, and he felt remorse for the life he had lived. I didn't believe him. His energy isn't remorseful. It's cold, indifferent, and lacking a soul. I honestly didn't know how I was supposed to write about him with so few straight forward answers. It bothered me to no end that there wasn't a reason a little boy became a monster. It was hard to feel compassion for him, and even harder to like him.

This blog entry will be written now in parts, based on intuitive information I was able to download. And based on the tarot reading I did for the sole purpose of gathering missing truths purposefully left out by the individual in question. I still don't know if Jeffrey was not intentionally telling these parts of his story, or if it was a missing link in his brain that made him withhold the only information that would have garnered him any understanding from the world.

Jeffrey's Childhood wasn't as idyllic as he professed it was. The story was always told in a way that made everyone but him innocent bystanders. That was intentional on his part. He didn't want anyone to "go down with him", and chose to take the full brunt of the blame for everything. It's the way victims often protect their abusers, because often their abusers are people they love. 

The tarot combined with my incredibly acute sense of intuition, spoke on behalf of the child lost inside of the serial killer instead. Jeffrey was sexually abused by two grown men in his lifetime. These two men could have been his own father, or a father figure. And a teacher, possibly a baseball coach. The abuse with the first man began when he was a small child, and didn't stop until he was an adolescent.

The abuse by the teacher introduced him to a lifestyle he would later go on to delve deeply into, homosexuality. The second person who abused him was considered what the gay community would refer to as a master or dominant partner. This relationship was never consensual, but it bred both reactions in Jeffry. Both love of the lifestyle, and resentment. He bloomed into a man who never wanted to be victimized again. 

I'm seeing him in a vision, tied up and gagged, basically sexually assaulted by the teacher/older man he trusted and loved. It was a violent introduction into sex with men. One that broke his spirit and changed the course of his life, by rewiring the brain. The chemical reaction Jeffrey had to being abused was to become the abuser. It was his way of taking back any power he had ever had, which had probably never been a whole lot in the first place.

Being socially awkward, never feeling loved his entire life, and then being violated as a child and young man, was bound to be a recipe for disaster, but nobody could have anticipated the life Jeffrey would go on to live. A lot of people are victimized and never go on to so much as hurt a fly. In fact, they become the chain breakers, and choose to be models of something different. When I say this man was completely lost in the third dimension, I mean he touched the darkest energies and ran with them. If you've ever met someone who is completely asleep, who had completely forgotten the light they came from, then you know what I mean. It's a completely uncomfortable vibration for those of us who are awakened to even be in the same room as. But it's harder to live, I know I've been there. This is where Hell actually is, in these threads of self hatred.

Jeffrey did speak on why he chose his victims, and he admitted that he thought they would be "missed less". He wasn't necessarily a racist, but he was aware enough of the way the world worked that he believed he was less likely to be caught if his victims weren't white. It's radical thinking, even for a serial killer. However, I was able to tap into a past life of his. A life he had lived as a while plantation owner, and slave master. In this lifetime there were no laws against his actions, and he reigned supreme as a proud racist. He actually told me that his soul is broken, and that he can't be reborn anymore, because he had proved more than once that he likes to hurt other people. I really can't confirm or deny that this is the way it works for souls that commit horrible crimes while incarnated, but maybe it will offer a little comfort to those who seek to find it.

Jeffrey felt invisible. It's like one day something inside of him snapped and never went back to normal. He found a power within that nobody had ever led him to believe he had before. His mentality was if he was invisible, then he could get away with anything. Murdering his victims made him feel like he was above the highest powers that be. Which I think is another symptom of unprocessed trauma. The victim doesn't wish to bare the scars for all eternity that led them to a life they are ashamed of. They want to be more, feel more, accomplish more, and stand up to their abusers. They way they choose to do that is often unique, but Jeffrey took it to a level most people couldn't fathom. He became the ultimate thing to fear.

Jeffrey claimed to have felt remorse for his victims and their families, but what he called remorse feels to those of us who are connected to ourselves, like an act. He was even baptized before his own death in order to be forgiven and allowed into the Kingdom of Heaven. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but none of this feels authentic to me. I'm almost positive that had he been from prison he would have gone back to the same old lifestyle as before. I have never felt that total lack of a core when interacting with someone's energy. It was what some people call, "soulless". 

Maybe there was something inside of Jeffrey that was broken beyond repair. Maybe the traits that make someone a murderer are something we're born with. And like a recipe for cookies, the right (or wrong) ingredients make a difference. Jeffrey himself shrugs his shoulders at the question of why he became Dahmer, the worldwide famous serial killer. He was the first to tell you there was something inside of him that wasn't normal. He even has the ability to look at others and say, they don't have it. They could never be like him. 

Jeffrey liked being known for his crimes. He did and didn't. It was the first time he had ever felt seen. And when the fan mail started pouring in, it was the first time he had ever felt loved. He liked celebrity.

It's hard to end this blog, knowing that there are people out there going through similar things. Feeling isolated, unloved, and invisible, who will choose to ultimately take back their power by becoming the thing they had once feared the most. These people may or may not be caught, but they will find themselves in their victims and reclaim the innocence of the children they were supposed to feel safe to be, by smothering the light out in someone they feel superior to. 

And the rest of us, we are at their mercy.